LONG AWAITED RETURN OF MY BLOG
Ok, this particular topic has been long overdue. What tipped it off was the sighting of a shirt I saw saying "Running Sucks". THANK GOD someone said it. It does suck! Not only because I cant think of a 'sport' that is deceivingly bad for your body, but because of the douchbags that have tainted the innocence of it. Same goes for cycling, and....yes..... GOLF. Let's do this OLYMPIC style!
EVENT - RUNNING
Bronze - The runner at 12am when everyone is going out with....you know...friends and having fun, this guy decides to show his dedication by saying "I don't need friends! They only make you fat and slow".
Silver - The runner who runs in snow in shorts and short sleeved shirt. OK, apparently this guy is more worried about his cardio than catching a cold.
Gold - The guy with no shirt. NEED I SAY MORE!
Breakdown: This was a landslide. The guy with no shirt really pulled away at the end. Asking him "I'm in law school, and I need to look good while I spend 3 to 4 years looking for a paying job. I dont wear a shirt because I want to show how good I look without a shirt. But please ignore the fact that my last girlfriend I had I cheated on her with the next girl that saw me run shirtless and got all googly eye'd.
EVENT - CYCLING
Bronze - The guy who decides to go for a bike ride with his wife and 3 kids on a Sunday in traffic. First of all, if you have children and you want to take them cycling, and you want to decrease the number of LIVING children in your life, by all means. Its also a good way to start vocabulary lessons with your kid as you hold up traffic and the city of Boston will let you know how they feel.
Silver - HUBWAY RIDERS. Yes, we get it, you cant afford a bike, but because you continue to support these companies, you continue to take up KEY parking spaces around the city. AWESOME A PARKING SPOT.....no....wait......its a rack of bicycles........doucebag.
Gold - THE GUY WHO RIDES AROUND DRESSED LIKE LANCE ARMSTRONG! Wow, its amazing that paying $50 gets you a sponsorship. You mean I can look like Lance Armstrong while riding my bike. Here's a blank check sir.
Breakdown: The family had the lead for a little bit, but little Jimmy kept complaining that he wanted to go home and play with his friends and held up the family's progress in the race. Hubway had a pretty decent lead at the halfway point due to the fact that they rode really really fast, then later got tired because it is really the only exercise they have had in the last 3 months. But Lance Armstrong, again, took the lead and the would never be relinquished. "It feels good. I like to thank these companies that are on my shirt....um...I dont know what they do, but I thank them." Unfortunately, the ceremony was short lived because the rider later tested positive for being a douchbag.
EVENT - GOLF
You know what....stay tuned for these results, this will be a separate blog all in itself.
